Thursday, October 3, 2013

Five Things Congress Could Learn From My Toddler

Five Things Congress Could Learn from my Toddler

This week I feel a little important. I learned that I am not just any federal employee, but I am an "essential" employee. For that I am grateful. I will admit, I was a little jealous that my sister-in-law (who is "non-essential" according to the powers that be) was making cookies with my niece during her forced, unpaid vacation. But in the end, I really like getting a paycheck. How long that paycheck will keep coming is yet to be seen, but fortunately, my branch has a little money saved up so we are getting paid - for now.

I could go on and argue that it seems as though all federal employees are "essential" in order to keep this country running or I could take a side and say it is all the Democrats fault or it is all the Republicans fault (although my job prohibits me from voicing such opinions), but political debates are not my strong point and I'd probably end up looking like an uninformed fool.

Therefore, I'll go with what I do know. Congress needs to get this issue resolved and get the federal workers back in their offices.  Do I have all the answers? Absolutely not. But in the recent weeks of battles with my 22 month old that often seem as dramatic as our national budget, I would pass on these lessons I've learned that I think could help solve our nation's problems.

1.  Compromise rarely works - somebody is just going to have to give in. For example, when JJ wants to run around without a diaper on and I don't want to clean up poop, I will not compromise. Even though it is often a long hard fight, the diaper will go on!  There is no middle ground.
Advice to Congress - somebody just suck it up already and give in!

2.  Crying will get you just about anything. When JJ wants to drink chocolate milk for breakfast and I think he should not have chocolate first thing in the morning, 10 minutes of hearing him cry usually gets him chocolate milk. Same goes for M&Ms, going outside, and watching Toy Story.
Advice to Congress - start crying and don't stop crying until you get your way.  And flailing around on the floor, especially when done in public, will often times speed up the process.

3. Call for O'Toodles.  "Huh?" you say?  If you've ever watched Mickey Mouse, you know that anytime Mickey and the gang have a problem, they all yell, "O'Toodles." You never know where he'll come from, but a little circle guy magically appears and somehow he always has the perfect tool to solve the problem.  In real life struggles with my toddler, stickers are often the magic tool that solve many a problems.
Advice to Congress - Holler for O'Toodles and pull something out of your ass to get this thing solved.

4. The bad guys always lose.  I learned this gem sometime between the 2nd and 312th time we watched Megamind. Right now, Congress is getting paid while over 800,000 federal employees are furloughed - not working and not getting paid. If Megamind can convert from the bad guy to the good guy, so can the members of Congress... right?
Advice to Congress -  Join up with your minion and do the right thing.

5.  Macaroni and doughnuts have magical powers.  I don't know what Kraft puts in the "macawoni" and cheese or why doughnuts have magical powers, but at our house, after a good serving of the cheesiest or a chocolate covered doughnut with sprinkles, the world just seems like a happier place.
Advice to Congress - Chocolate covered long johns. Lots and lots of chocolate covered long johns.

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1 comment:

  1. If only they would listen to you but I am thinking they are just a bunch of buffoons. Like your post though.


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