Friday, June 14, 2013

"What's That?"

Sometimes things happen in life when you just say to yourself, "This just has to be put in writing."  This happened tonight.  Lucky for me, I write a blog.  So here's what went down...

Jeff, JJ, and I are enjoying the lovely evening playing outside.  As he's getting ready to hit some balls off the tee, we see the pre-poop tip toe dance starting.  I see this as a huge opportunity.  1.  JJ loves being outside and sometimes when it is time to go inside, we have to take him in kicking and screaming.  However, the dude also loves to sit on the potty, so when we ask if he wants to sit on the potty, he goes willingly - kicks and screams averted!  2.  Anytime we can let JJ sit on the potty and get more comfortable, I say let's do it.

So we get inside and put the little man on the potty.  However after about 10 seconds, he is bored and hops off.  I'm pretty darn sure the poop is coming, so I look around for some stall tactics.  I grab one of his bath books, but he is apparently more interested in one of the Redbook magazines that has been piling up next to the toilet because I haven't had time to read a magazine in, oh, about 18 months and 14 days (don't give me too much credit for this amazing math - when your kid is born on December 1, it is always pretty easy to know exactly how old he is!).  As he starts to thumb through the Redbook, I again decide to seize the opportunity and sit him on the potty so we can look through the magazine together.  At this point, I am overjoyed.  This is such a win-win for me.  For one, there is a good chance JJ will go in the potty, but more importantly, I may actually get to read (well, sort of) a magazine!

As we randomly jump from page to page, I am initially surprised at how many things that JJ is interested in.  We find a picture of a two bananas, a beach ball, an add for a hot dog.  He even let me know that this lady is, "All wet!"


All is going fine and JJ has totally forgotten he is sitting on the toilet and is 100 percent focused on this adult women's magazine.  Then it starts.

Every page, "What's that?"  "What's that?" "What's that?"  Most of my responses, "That's a lady."  "That's a lady."  "That's a lady's hair."  "That's a purse."  "That's Jennifer Aniston."  You get the picture.  It is Redbook.  However, there were a few other things JJ learned, that an 18 month will likely only learn when reading Redbook.

For instance, I find myself saying,


"That's a nipple on the sexy salad dressing man."

And,

"That strengthens your love muscles.  It is gynecologist recommended."

I mean, I always feel that being honest with your kids and giving them straight answers is the best policy.

After about 20 minutes, no poopy and no potty, but JJ got to learn about love muscles and I got to read magazine, so a successful night on the shitter!

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