Monday, December 31, 2012

Let it Blow (Out)!

Before I start in on the craziness of my Christmas vaca, let me first say that amongst all the craziness, I had a wonderful time.  We traveled to the big city of Holyoke, Colorado to spend the holidays with my family and I got to spend time with my brother and sister (and their families) and I honestly can’t remember the last time all three of us were together.  My stepdad took us on a very cold, but fun, hayride that the kids really enjoyed and between us and those caroling from their boat, I think we covered our section of town pretty well.  As usual, we were all spoiled rotten and JJ and his cousins had a wonderful time playing and celebrating together.
However, the good times didn’t come without a little drama/ excitement mixed in.  It all started a few days before we were supposed to head out on the dreaded eight hour drive.  A nasty virus hit JJ’s daycare and I think pretty much every kid there, and many of the parents, were hit with a nasty bout of vomiting and diarrhea.  Unfortunately, JJ didn’t escape the attack.  It hit him in the middle of the night and the poor kid was covered from head to toe in puke.  We got him (and his bed) cleaned up and brought him into our room to sleep in case there was more to come.  There was.  We laid a towel down under him, but, of course, he rolled off, so now our bed, too was covered in vomit.  By the end of the night, we had figured out the towel trick a little better, but came dangerously close to running out of clean towels.  He seemed fine the next day, but dinner did not go down well and when I went in to check on him around 11:00, he was sleeping in a pile of vomit – I swear I’d heard nothing and have no idea how long the poor kid had been sleeping like this!  To top off this lovely night, at about 2:00 a.m., it hit Jeff.  Hard.  By morning, Jeff had nothing left inside of him to come out, but he was far from fine.  Eight hour drive- not going to happen today!
By Saturday morning, the family was back to normal, so we headed west!  JJ did great the whole drive and we made it to Colorado in record time.  To make the day even better, when we got to my mom’s house, I put JJ down and he started walking – without a finger!!!  The kid has been taking steps and been capable of walking for about two months, but has simply refused to go anywhere without holding on to a finger.  I guess he was just waiting for the right audience.  It was so fun (and amazing) to be able to sit and watch him walk around and not have to be by his side every single step he took.  So the rest of the day was great, we did the hayride that night, and all was well.
Then came Sunday.  The day started super.  JJ went to church with my mom and sister and then Jeff and I met up with the family at The Skillet, the local restaurant, for some fried chicken and Sunday buffet.  All was going well and my picky eater was putting down a dinner roll when the whole family noticed JJ had poop face.  And this was some serious purple, give-it-all-you-got poop face.  I’ll admit, I’d gotten cocky since JJ had gotten older and instead of hauling the big ole diaper bag everywhere, I’d often just throw a diaper and some wipes in my purse and go with it.  So once, his face returns to normal color and I’m pretty sure the job is done, I grab the diaper and wipes and head to the restroom.  This is where is gets ugly.  First off, no changing table.  Back track real fast – this is a serious pet peeve of mine and on the way to Colorado we stopped at a rest area along Interstate 70 and there was no changing table!  Seriously??  That reminds me – I still need to right a nasty e-mail to KDOT!  I had to change JJ on the counter.  Yeah, where people wash their hands.  It was that or the floor and I wasn’t putting my kid anywhere near that floor!  And to top it off, when I first laid him on the counter, I didn’t realize his face was right under a motion sensored hand dryer.  Oops – sorry, Buddy, but it was pretty funny to see his reaction.  Back to The Skillet.  So there I stand, in a very very small bathroom with no changing table and no room on the counter when I realize poop is coming out of the bottom of his jeans and is already in his shoe and all over my shirt.  Shit!  (Literally).  I have no choice, I lay him on the floor and do my best to clean up the worst blowout he has ever had.  His shoe is full of shit, it is all in his jeans and up his back and my wool sweater is covered.  We have no spare clothes and a limited number of wipes.  Between wipes and toilet paper, I do my best, but my best is not nearly enough.  Right as I’m finishing up, the bathroom door opens.  Luckily, it is my mother with my niece.  I tell Mom I’ll watch Kinley and send her off to tell Jeff to pack up, lunch is over.  I put JJ’s shit jeans back on him and decide to just carry his shoes and get out as fast as we can.  The good thing – this didn’t seem to bother him one bit, he was happy and chatty as always.  As I’m heading out the door, I realize how close all the tables are and that everyone we walk past is probably getting a pretty good wiff of the work JJ completed and likely noticing his shit covered socks.  And I realize there is a good chance there are droppings of shit on the floor from our trip to the bathroom that I was oblivious to at the time.  Oh well.  We get to the car and putting JJ is the car seat for the less than one mile trip with a speed limit of 25 is not happening, so on my lap in the front seat he goes.  And if you want to think I’m a terrible mom for that decision, you can suck it!  We make it back to Mom’s and JJ enjoys an extra bath and we all get on clean clothes.  Funny side note – Mom later told me that after Kinley went to the bathroom, the toilet clogged up, likely from all the wipes I threw down it.  So sorry, Skillet, but it you had a changing table with a trash can under it, that would not have happened!
As the days go on, so do the blow-outs.  The good thing is they truly didn’t seem to bother JJ, but Jeff and I quickly became experts at the tag team diaper/ clothes change and my mom’s washing machine pretty much ran non-stop.  By Christmas morning, the bug had spread.  I thought we were all past it, but apparently we brought some germs with us because many family members were sick including my poor seven year old nephew who threw up the whole way back to Florida and ended up wearing his 17 year old sister’s clothes by the end of the trip.  Hey – you gotta do what you gotta do.  JJ did not like sleeping in the pack and play so between his sleeping and all the germs, we decided to head out of town a day early. 
The trip home started in the snow.  The roads weren’t too bad, but it looked like traveling through Nebraska was the better route, so off we went.  About halfway through Nebraska, as I road in the back seat with JJ, I noticed the all too familiar poop face once again.  We were able to stop soon and fortunately this gas station had a changing table!  JJ and I both got a change of clothes and we hit the road again.  As we start to drive, I start to get concerned about how long his shits have been going on, although he has had no signs of dehydration.  I go to his pediatrician’s website, my go to website for all questions related to his health.  It says viral diarrhea can last five to 14 days, so we could have a ways to go.  Nothing too surprising – keep him hydrated, eat bland foods, blah blah blah.  It did say yogurt was good because it has probiotics which are good for his digestive tract.  Yogurt is one thing my picky eater loves, so I am overcome with excitement.  And I even have a little squeezey packet of yogurt in the car!  The boy eats it up and I am feeling like super mom.  For about 30 seconds.  Then the yogurt comes up.  And up.  And up.  JJ is drowning in yogurt vomit in the car seat.  I swear there was not that much yogurt in the squeezy packet!  We are in the middle of Nebraska.  Jeff makes it to an exit ramp and on the side of the road, I do my best to clean up the kid once again.  Once I get him down to his diaper, he has a blast in the front seat with Jeff honking the horn.  We are down to our last few wipes and I’m nowhere near getting it all cleaned up when I realize the roll of toilet paper Jeff threw in the car – just in case- was within reach.  So, I got the car seat cleaned as good as one can with toilet paper and JJ goes back in for the remainder of our strawberry yogurt vomit smelling ride.  The rest of ride was pretty much drama free, but I am reminded of the good times every time I get in my car because apparently no matter how or what you do to clean yogurt vomit, the smell never goes away!
In the end, through all the poop and vomit we had a good time and everyone is back to being happy and healthy.  And just to prove, we did have some good times, here are some pics of my cute, walking little man!

JJ, Kenna, and Caden ready for the hayride.

Puzzle with Kinley.

Horsing around with Caden.

Nap time with Mom.  Too precious!

Love my new chair!

Golf anyone?

Santa came (and gave Daddy Twix that I am playing with).

Back home making a mess of the changing table!

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