Monday, May 23, 2011

Pills, Pokes, and Dirty Mags

Back into action, we start the Clomid/ injectalbes cycle.  The Clomid went smooth, as usual, and Jeff did a great job of poking me in the stomach with the Follistim shots.  And as a little surprise, for some unknown reason, my insurance covered the Follistim (the injectible), so it was actually cheaper than the Clomid!  Please, nobody call my insurance and tell them they weren’t supposed to cover this.  So, day 10 rolls around and this means ultrasound.  By now, I’m almost to the point I think I know more than the doctors again as I look at this screen.  I am ecstatic.  Two mature follicles and one that is close behind.  I don’t know if it was the injectables that added the extra kick or if my ovaries really did bounce back after the pill, but either way, we are more hopeful than we’ve been in a long time. 
Since we are doing injectibles, the doc wants to step everything up a notch.  Therefore, after a few more days to let the follicles fully mature, we do another ultrasound.  All is looking good, so this time we induce ovulation with a different shot in the gut.  I just have to say, timing on this stuff is down to a science.  I do this shot at 10:00 p.m., then two days later, at 7:30 a.m., the fun starts.  No more “cuddling up” at home.  We are letting science help us out a bit.  The science we call IUI – inter uterine insemination.  So the plan is that at 7:30, Jeff goes to the office and submits his sample in a cup, they do some special wash, then at 9:00, I go in and take another tube into the uterus where his sperm is directly injected. 
Before we go forward, let’s go back.  Prior to Jeff submitting his initial deposit in the cup when he got his semen analysis, I was driving to work listening to the radio.  Jenny Matthews, a local DJ, was talking to other DJs about her experience getting pregnant with her daughter.  She has been very open about her fertility struggles and knowing she now has a little girl, gives me hope.  Way to go, Jenny!  Anyway, she was telling about the day she and her husband did IVF.  She said her husband had it pretty easy in the whole process and all he really had to do was go in this one day and do his business in a cup.  However, it wasn’t as easy as it could have been as the only “material” they had in the room for him was a People magazine with Clay Aiken on the cover.  Wouldn’t you know it, when Jeff got there to give his sample, he quickly concluded we go to the same specialist as Jenny.  There he was, trying to get excited with just him and his People.
So… now that we know Jeff will again have to get aroused at 7:30 a.m. in a sterile doctor’s office with little more than a few celebrity pics, I decide to be the supportive wife.  We all know that being supportive is more fun with others, so I grab my two best work buddies and we head out for a lunch outing… to Cirilla’s adult toy store.  I will not try to convince any of you that I am a prude, but my experience in this store is quite limited (and if you don’t believe me, you should know I used a gift card that I got for my 35th birthday).  My first item to purchase – a pocket pussy.  I know this will not get a second of use, by I try to add some humor to this (he tells people he didn’t use it because he’s too big to fit in it).  My second purchase – reading materials he can take to the doc’s office with him.  So there I am in front of a large rack (pun intended) of dirty mags.  They all have plastic wrap around them, so I can’t even thumb through them to see what I think he might like (like that would really help me anyway).  One of my supporters suggests I go with Hustler, as everyone knows Hustler, so it’s gotta be good.  Lucky for me, they have a three pack for a discounted rate, so I grab the three, wrapped in plastic, complete the purchase, and head back to work.  When I get home that night, I give Jeff his gift.  I’m not even sure the pocket pussy made it out of the plastic, but the mags were immediately opened.  I quickly learn why they wrap them in plastic.  One of the mags is from 2006, one is from 2008, and the third is all in Spanish.  But, hey, the girls all look the same, right?
Back to the IUI experience.  All goes as planned.  I’m not sure if Jeff took a magazine in or not (he denies, but I beg to differ), but he did say this time there were magazines in the room.  When I get in at 9:00, they show me his sample with his name on it to make sure they are giving me the right stuff.  I’m not sure what they did to his sperm to wash it, but it is now pink (my friend said this means it will be a girl).  As expected his sperm count is still “rock star” numbers.  So my feet go up in the stirrups and in goes the sperm.  I feel a slight pressure, but really the only pain is knowing another woman is looking so deep into my vagina.  Now I just lay for ten minutes.  Thank goodness I have an iPhone so I have something to do to pass the time!  And now the two week wait… 

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